A Disastrous Christmas

His name was Gerton, her name was Tara. Together, they were 2 of the 8 heroes that battled the demigod. “God damn it Gerton I told you to hang your socks up!” “Ughh” he grunted in response, looking out the window onto a mountain, the peak of which was destroyed in their battle “Remember the good times?”

“Good times?? What good times? The times of near annihilation of our world?” he shrugged “At least it was fun.. And now what? All we do is.. Live a ‘normal’ life. Work, pay taxes to the city..” She sighed, then approached him from behind and wrapped her arms around him, locking her fingers at his stomach, nuzzling against his back “Gerton.. You were the lead of our party, it weighed heaviest on you, I know, but.. It’s time to let it go” 

He went out to his work, he worked as a city guard now, a city guard that could, in the past, destroy a city with a single swing of his axe. Tara was a nurse, a former hero cleric. But their blessings were taken from them, only a fraction of their power remained. And so the days dragged on, until, one fateful night, a caravan was passing through the city. 

“Gerton? Take a look at this?” he sat up in the bed, a distant murmur from the city streets filled with his focus “What’s going?” Tara shrugged looking out the window at the caravan that was just down the street, a crowd gathering around them “not a clue.. A traveling circus maybe?” He approached, wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned on the windowsill “hmm, doesn’t look like a circus to me, i smell trouble” 

The 2 went out, and as they did, a flock of pigeons were released from the caravan’s trolley, flying all around, dropping flyers. Tara picked one up and looked over it “Christmas Miracle! In 2 weeks! Pray with us and make your  wishes!” She squinted at it and then glanced at Gerton who furrowed his brows “What the heck?”

They approached the caravan, where on a portable stage that had already been setup, gnomafel were putting on a show. With clever use of gadgets and tech utilities for special flare, the little theatrical performance was rather amusing to watch. They stood, enjoying the show of a gnomafel in a red jumpsuit stuffed with cotton to look fat, running between set up fake roofs, jumping into chimneys and comically climbing out of them. 

A gnomafel narrator narrated the spectacle “And thus Santa Cruz shall visit every house! In every city! In EVERY Nation! And he will climb into your chimneys..” the spectacle was interrupted by a concerned man “So..he’s going to intrude into my house against my will?” The narrator frowned at him “HIs only desire is to…” the gnomafell checked his notes “to drink milk and leave you and your family gifts!” 

The concerned man shook his head, turned and began to walk away, mumbling to himself “this seems like a bad idea” The gnomafell stopped him, as the fat dressed 1 jumped out of the chimney, dragged a random box from his bag and tossed it at the concerned man, hitting him on the head “Hear ye old man! Santa Cruz, deity of gifting shall bring joy and happiness to all the people in the world!” 

The man angrily picked up the box, then as he was about to toss it back at the gnomafel, Gerton stopped him by grabbing a hold of his wrist “Calm yourself, they don’t seem to mean any harm”. The man grunted and walked off, carrying the box with him. Later that night, that man went missing, but that’s a story, for another time. 

The caravan traveled the city of Plux for the rest of the week, putting on their theatrics. Gnomafel wandered the city and talked with people one on one, did surveys and in general, seemed to watch the city populace, which raised concerns within the guards, but seemingly no harm was done and so the guards left them alone. 

A week later, with the departure of the caravan, dozens of people gone missing. Gerton reported to his post the morning after, noticing a crowd of people outside the guard house. Before he could finish equipping his armor, the chief stormed through the door “Alright lads those damned lalafell kidnapped people it would seem! Take chase! Right now!” Gerton’s eyebrow raised “W..wait a moment what do you mean they kidnapped people?”

Chief shrugged “Don’t ask me, but we got a whole bunch of ‘my .. is missing’ reports this morning! And more are coming in! Take chase” he shook his head “We need proper prep we don’t know how long this might go for! We need supplies and..” the chief slammed his fist onto the table “RIGHT NOW! All of you! Giddy up I said”. And thus, the guards took chase, but had no chance of catching up. Gnomafel motorized trolleys were too fast for the guards and their horses. 

Back in the northern mountains, the caravan arrived. The gnomafel distributed the newly arrived workers and handled the paperwork among themselves. The night after the gnomafel meeting took place. A lalafell in red jump suit and pointy hat walked onto the stage of the main assembly hall “Listen up” and spoke to him in a squeaky voice “We have done TREMENDOUS work these past months!” a silent murmur and a cheer echoed through the hall “the… PRIMAL will be summoned SOON!”

A louder cheer echoed through the hall “We have but a few cities to visit and then… then we shall have enough people praying and wishing upon arrival of a primal like that to make the summoning succeed!” The gnomafel burst into loud cheer! They were tinkerers, creators, and now, they were also the primal summoners. One of few clans to attempt it, and their goal was pure and honest. 

The guards kept their pursuit and tracking through the cold northern regions. They relied on other cities providing them with food and shelter. Many cities they visited also sent more guards with them after suspecting kidnappings of similar sorts and suspecting the same clan of lalafell to be behind it. 

One of the cities provided them with their best trackers, and so the party of no less than 30 warriors and guards were on the lalafell tracks. They traced the trolley all the way to the base of the northern ridges! Where the mountains began, the road ended, and so did the tracks of the caravan they were pursuing.

Thus began their several days long journey through the freezing mountains of the north! Deadly peaks, steep cliffs, and a band of warriors and guards, led through these dangers by a few trackers. Underprepared, the party suffered damage, men were injured and unable to continue, having to camp out in the wilderness of the mountains, but kidnapped people had to be rescued, and so they pushed forth!

Days passed in struggle for the brave warriors as they pushed through the rough terrain and harsh environments. Things only got worse when a snowstorm caught them in the valley between the mountains. “Move move move! We’re only through the outer circle of the mountains, if our predictions are correct, their clan is hiding inside the valley of the inner circle!” 

“We need a camp! The blizzard is going to render is immobile and lose track AND people!” demanded Gerton but his concerns were dismissed by the rushing trackers “We shall seek refuge in the caves of the mountains! Now get a move on!” The party rushed through the valley of a dozen or so kilometers long, but the blizzard was merciless. With each passing minute it got stronger and stronger. 

Not only were they rendered practically blind due to the storm, navigating blindly, with no rope to keep them all together, the party broke up and spread up fast. Losing track of each other, lost in the valley and caught in the storm, Gerton remembered his hero days, the battles against all odds, and the survival of the fittest. He pressed on, and when he reached the base of the mountain, and found a cave to hide in, he found himself alone. 

Wind roared outside, isolated by the storm, in a cave, alone he sat. Darkness befell, and that night marked the day. Back in his town, Tara watched people flood the city streets. The crowd gathered around the tree at the city center. Some carried paper lanterns, some with just candles, and others barehanded. 

She watched out her window as the crowd began to pray. Some prayed for safe return of those that had gone missing, some prayed for safe return of their sons or husbands in the guard who took chase after the caravan. Others prayed for safety, well being. Kids prayed for gifts and presents to themselves and to their families. The entire city had gone quiet in a silent prayer. 

Gerton prayed too that night, alone in the cave. What he prayed for was not his own survival, but the wellbeing of his comrades and his wife. “Tara.. I’m sorry for being a bad husband, I hope you’ll find happiness, move on past me”. His mumble was deafened by the roaring sound of the storm outside, but it was not unheard. In the northern mountains, the lalafell of the gnomafel clan fell into silent prayer for the arrival of the new primal. The workers followed in their wake. 

In a thunderous roar the entire continent shook slightly, a friendly voice rang through the ears of every person and animal alike “Ho ho ho! Your wishes have been heard”. The people gasped in surprise, some cheered from sudden excitement. Some, however, seemed reluctant and concerned. But the vast majority were happy, and happiness gave him the power to turn physical. 

He manifested in the middle of the factory as a buff old man. He stood in red robes with white and green fur lining and decorating. He was not fat as many would depict him, he was buff as Rapu. The factory workers watched him rub his belly and walk around, in silence. He would pick some of the toys and examine them. The gnomafel watched him from a distance or through the windows of the factory from outside. 

“It worked huh? That’s him right? That’s Santa Cruz?”  Spoke 1 of the gnomafel outside, peeking through the window of the factory. “Shhhhh! I think it is! Let’s just watch for a minute”. The other 1 grinned “No no that’s definitely him! But he looks.. Kinda like that big bulky guy we tried kidnapping the other day”

The 2 watched in awe as buff Santa Cruz walked the factory floors and spoke to the workers. “Hey hey! Do you think the factory worker’s kidnapping helped summon it?” The other gnomafel squinted “Well, surely! We kidnapped close to 40 000 people! Surely all of them all praying and wishing to go back helped!” the first 1 grinned an evil grin “I knew my plan would bring success to this operation!” “it wasn’t just YOUR plan” claimed the 2nd one when suddenly Santa Cruz appeared behind them.

Surprised by the sudden appearance of the primal the 2 backed away in fright but were picked up and put on his shoulders before they could react “Now then little helpers! Great plan, great plan! No no this was phenomenal! Kidnap people, make them wish to return! Increase the amount of people wishing! Have more people praying and wishing! Summon successful! So, what do YOU 2 wish for?” 

The gnomafel on the left shoulder squeaked a little “Ahh! Ah! I want to be recognized and become a BOSS!!! In RED! Boss in RED!” he repeated. And thus his attire changed to a red jumpsuit. “And you little one?” the other 1 pondered for a moment “A vacation on a warm island for 3 weeks! With a catgirl whose lap I can use as a pillow!!” And thus the 2nd gnomafel disappeared. 

Santa Cruz disappeared shortly after. He appeared in a dark cave next to a man who had passed out. Squatting by him he grinned, then slapped him across the face. The loud slap echoed through the otherwise silent, post blizzard valley. “Wake the hell up!! Your wife prayed that you return home or else she said she’ll kill you, so up you go lad!”

 Gerton, startled awake by the sudden slap, jumped up to his feet and assumed a fighting position – “WHO WHAT HUH??” the buff man in red robed stood before him, grinning- “Ohh a fighter? Let’s go! One, two, hop!” 

Santa Cruz uppercutted the guardsman, sending him flying out of the cave, and disappearing mid flight. He appeared outside the window of his house, flew through the window, crashed onto the dining table, broke the table, rolled off of it, grunted as he got up, and then was slammed on the head by a frying pan by his wife who instinctively thought he was an intruder. He awoke the next morning with a splitting headache, and no recollection of the past night.  

Somewhere in the south, on an island, a boy wished the sea was less blue. Before the boy appeared a mountain of a man! He eclipsed the sun with his massive body, and in a friendly tone he spoke “Your wish has been heard!” And thus he approached the water… and some moments of water..sprinkling sounds later, that sea turned yellow.

Stuck in a storm on a boat with fishermen, a writer wished that night that the seamen would learn manners. After all seamen disappeared from existence for a total of 5 seconds, they all reappeared right where they had been, in suits, monocles, with canes, and manners of aristocrats. “Say good lad, a fine day for fishing ain’t it?” “couldn’t agree more with you, good sire, now pull on these wonderful nets for we have many fish to sift through!”

Somewhere off in the mountains a cat wished for a family, the cat ended up with a litter of 9, and a kitty wife he had never met before. He was granted a family, but he regretted not being more specific. Off on the distant lands of the Scholaria, a scholar desired for all the knowledge in the world… He found himself in a library, containing all the knowledge in the world, stuck on the 1789th floor of said library… It took him 7 days to escape!’

The little joyful lalafell of the gnomafel clan, rejoiced happily all night not realizing that their summoned primal granted wishes far too literally for their own good. Every wish made on that night was granted. But what made them realize their mistake, was when they watched him stand atop the roof of the factory, lasso the moon, and pull it closer. 

“Whoa whoa whoa what the hell are you doing you crazy bugger?” yelled the chief of gnomafel as he ran towards him. “What? I’m doing what I’m meant to do, fulfilling people’s wishes, a lad wished the moon was closer for his beloved loved the moon!” “No no no no no! Put it back where it was! It’s going to cause destruction this close!!!” Santa Cruz shook his head – “NO!” 

“Then i WISH you would put it back!” Santa Cruz took a deep breath and then blew at the moon, pushing it back. Somewhere, a silly bunny, watching the moon get closer, wished it would disappear for it causes all the trouble. And then Santa Cruz snapped his fingers, and the moon was gone. “WHOA WHAT DID YOU DO NOW?” yelled out the chef of the gnomafell “Well, somebody wished it would just disappear.” and at that moment, all the moon Miqo’tes disappeared from the world. 

(Author’s note: It was funny because moon Miqo’te players disconnected from the game after the prior paragraph)

Somebody wished for the moon to return, and with it, the moon Miqos returned too. And thus continued the night of the most bizarre events the world had ever seen. On that night, the world almost met its doom no less than 42,069 times. But fortunately, wishes kept canceling each other out, and in the end, no permanent damage was done. Much joy was brought into the world that night, as well as stress… of the near apocalyptic events that kept happening all night long.

And thus the magic faded away, and with it, people’s desire to have all their wishes fulfilled. “Happiness is all around, seek it and you will have it, but dismiss it and you’ll miss it!” echoed the voice for the last time, and every living sentient being on the planet heard it. To come it was just a dream, to others, it was a harsh reality of trying to survive the night of madness. But it was this night and those words that made people realize that they had to work to achieve their dreams, and that happiness was within everyone’s reach, just had to look for it. It did not have to be the fulfillment of their wishes and deepest desires. 

The dawn broke, and the primal of wish granting and gifting was gone. But in their homes, every person in the world found boxes with various gifts. Every person from young to old received something that brought joy to them. It wasn’t much, but these handcrafted toys and gadgets were all they needed to brighten their day.