A False Test

Miller walked around the desert in which he found himself lost, once more, just as he was lost in the desert before being transported to a strange, unfamiliar world… He walked on. Each step was accompanied by a groan of pain and discomfort. Sand inside his boots, sand inside his face covering, in his hair, and all around him. Scorching sun reminding him of his limited time. 

A familiar voice rang in his head “Push on.” But exhausted Miller, the chef on a journey to prove his worth to the gods, dismissed it with a passive aggressive thought “Push where? To my own death? I could dig up a grave and lay myself to rest here…” To his surprise, the voice replied, “Idiot, push towards that oasis to the east.” Miller shrugged. “Where’s east? It’s a desert left and right ahead and behind! Even above! Why is there desert above me actually???” 

With the next step, his foot sank into the ground, he lost balance and tumbled down the sandy dune. As he shook his head and regained his concentration, he found himself facing east, or so he assumed based on the oasis that was just ahead of him, a few hundred meters away. “Ohh..” he thought, in the emptiness of his thoughts, and the void of silence in his head, he heard a facepalm. 

He struggled up to his feet, covered in even more sand than before, and walked on “Remind me oh dearest goddess, why am I here again?” After a brief silence he heard the voice once more “to complete your challenge, the next part of which is a test of bravery to the god of honor!” He shrugged “Ugh… not only did this quest sent me to a different world, where, by the way, they had catgirls, they were cute!” Said Miller in a dreamy tone, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

The voice in his head sounded annoyed “uhuhhh… well looks like you got your directions and task figured out, good luck…” Miller panicked – “Wait no! I didn’t mean it like that o greatest goddess of taste! You’re the o… hello? G…goddess?” but silence was the only reply he got. “Uhm.. r..right! Bravery! I must endure these challenges and take the life-crystal of a necromancer!” 

As he walked for what felt like hours, the oasis seemingly getting closer at times and further at others, he was thinking back to his trip to the other world ‘was that too part of the challenge? Or did I just get so lost in the desert I traveled worlds?’ At that moment he felt rain, sand, it was sanding, the desert above him began to shed sand as if a rainstorm. “No god, no more sand please!!” Screamed Miller as he picked up his pace, running toward the oasis. 

Miller sprinted through the sand, his boots sinking into its soft and scorching fur like texture. A loud thunder echoed through the desert, but it sounded like a roar. Miller’s eyes widened as he found himself moving up with the sand dune atop of which he stood. Beneath him, a massive creature, no smaller than a house, rose up to its feet. The creature roared a mighty deep growl escaping its beak like mouth! 

He screamed as he fell to the ground, clinging onto the fur of the beast that stretched and yawned, then glanced around, at last it spread its mighty wings. The sphinx awoke from the intruder walking over it, but it failed to spot him, fortunately for our chef, whose only thoughts at this very moment were ‘I wonder if I could cook it…’ and ‘What’s it like to become the meal of a meal?’ 

As the beast flapped its wings and took flight, bringing Miller into the air, higher and higher with its flap. The dust and sand arose, and once about 10 meters high the beast took flight toward the oasis. Upon realizing this, Miller exclaimed enthusiastically “Nice!” and the beast replied “Indeed, water goes well with humans, they’re pretty salty and dry.” Miller shrieked “Wait!!!” but the beast just laughed “Oh you got 40 seconds, 45 if I slow down a bit, go on…” 

Miller panicked atop the beast’s back “I’ll jump” “And then I’ll catch you, rip you with my talons, and then eat you whole”. “Eeekk! Okay wait.. Uhmm.. I can cook you something delicious!” the sphinx chuckled. “hehehe… like what? A sand pudding? No thanks” Miller sat down thinking “Won’t oasis have anything to eat?” an unfamiliar voice came from behind him “Well unless you’re into rotten flesh, the oasis is controlled by a necromancer.”

Miller fell down from the surprise and crept away, crawling slowly “Ohh my god!!!” he said looking over his shoulder. The man standing behind him, in a skin-tight suit much like what divers would wear “Yes! Well no, I’m not YOUR god! I’m here to see who was screeching all about while I was taking my nap!” 

“It was him!” claimed Miller poking the beast’s back atop of which he laid. The god nodded “Yeah that’s my cat, he’s hungry, well, enjoy, and Stewy? Don’t play with your food!” Miller panicked – “Wait no, you can’t! I uhhmm…” they began to descend “10 seconds” reminded the beast. “W..wait!! hold on! I’m a god too! Well not yet, I’m a chef soon to be of gods!” 

The god before him raised his eyebrow – “Oh no… Don’t tell me you’re on that stupid…” he raised his hands, with fingers gesturing air quotes “‘TeSt Of BrAveRy And WorThiNesSsSsSssss” he mocked. Miller snorted “What was that?” “what was what?” at that moment a rock landed on the god’s head “Stop mocking us!” goddesses’ voice echoed in Miller’s head. 

The god turned around “Excuse you, miss goddess of taste, you’re not even a real goddess!” The goddess’s voice sounded annoyed “And you’re a god of a mirage of an upside down non existent desert, you sorry excuse of a deity!” Miller tilted his “Wait.. a god of mirage?” The female voice sighed and then spoke in an annoyed tone “Yes Miller, this is a mirage. That god doesn’t exist, you made him up, as you did this entire desert.. You really are a fool.” 

*****Audience Input*****

 So tell me dear audience? What shall the silly chef do? Does he believe the goddess or doubt her? Does he try to break out of his own illusion or brave through it? 

Lucynia Leoktema: Uhhhhhh

Lunamana Zhongxin: ./doubt the goddess!

Mini LinsaShiva: “I want to break free”

Presea DiamondSagittarius: On one hand he’s dumb enough to believe her, on the other hand he’ dumb enough to just go through it

Lucynia Leoktema: Hmmmm… Is a haaaard one… IIIII would say he believes her!! Maybe he gets yummy food from her if he does??

Orlena Frex: I’d also doubt her – she’s up to no good.

Aoi Shikibu: I think they both lie: the illusion was made by a third mystery god and nothing he hears or sees exists

Presea DiamondSagittarius: I would say he would go through

Rapu RiverstoneSagittarius: Is that high enough of an insight roll

Doubt = 3 

Believe = 2 

**********

Miller shakes his head “How do I know YOU are not an illusion yourself, then?” Be gone! Leave my head, you said it yourself that I can do this challenge myself!” “Very well, foolish human” she replied. Something about her reply didn’t sit quite right with Miller, he clung onto the fur of the sphinx as it landed rather delicately and gently at the oasis and then walked slowly towards the water. Each step of it made Miller cling tighter onto its fur “We’re here, my meal.” 

Miller jumped off of the sphinx’s back and sighed, walked around the side of it toward the water. He watched the sphinx carefully drinking from the lake. He walked up beside it “Uhmm.. so, the… necromancer..??” Sphinx lifted its head from the water “Drink up, lunch doesn’t talk.” Miller raised his finger in protest “Actually I once had to catch and cook a living plant! And made tea out of it… It was more than talkative! It told me stories of its life and children while I was…” 

“Th..that’s enough” said the sphinx in a trembling voice, taking a cautious step back, its tail trembling nervously behind it. “T..the necromancer is in that pyramid behind you… He is ruthless, uses this oasis to lure creatures and travelers alike, to further grow his army.” Miller looked around, confused by the suddenly scared beast before him “Wh..what?” before he could speak up again the sphinx took off with a mighty flap of its wings and fled. 

After a drink and collecting some water into his waterskin, Miller walked through the suspiciously empty oasis toward the tip of a pyramid sticking out from the underground that the sphinx had mentioned. 

As he approached it, the smell of rot and damp stale air greeted him, ‘as if god of death is welcoming me to his realm’ thought Miller to himself. A deep, raspy and bone-chilling voice echoed from inside the darkness of the path into the pyramid “This is not my realm, I’m just cooling off from the scorching desert sun” replied death. 

Miller’s eyes widened “D…death?” The voice replied without replying “mmhh…” “Uhmm.. when will I…” the response was a loud snore. Miller knew he wouldn’t be getting any more answers, but the challenge still awaited him. ‘Maybe the death is here because I’ll die here… maybe.. But I won’t back down!’ he clenched his fist full of resolve, and then drew his meat cleaver as he approached the entrance. 

He stepped inside the doorway leading into the pyramid. Darkness and stench were his companions from here on out. He followed the wall, down another wall, and then yet another wall. He walked for hours, lost in the darkness, the ever winding and splitting hallways of the pyramid. 

At last, his hand glided over something fleshy, a disturbed groan followed after “bbaauugghh” “Woops sorry!” replied Miller as he walked a few steps further before realizing he just touched a zombie, then he picked up his pace, into a full on sprint, a set of footsteps followed him for a while.

At last, he came to a stop, panting and gasping for air, knife still held firmly in the other hand. “Oh right, I could have sliced it into a gyros meat…” said Miller thoughtfully as he contemplated making a gyro out of zombie, then shook his head “no that sounds horrible, I’d rather a sand-pudding I reckon.” He shuddered at the thought of crunching sand on his teeth. 

A few short minutes later he found himself entering a large open hall, “Ah yes, the ceremonial space where the bodies for soon to be mummies of ancient Egypt would be prepared and placed into the sarcophagus. The bodies were embalmed and wrapped into the bandages.” A different voice, rather normal to Miller’s surprise, replied from the desk at the corner of the room “Ancient Egypt? Where’s that?” Miller glanced at the man in the corner “Good question… I don’t know” 

The necromancer rose from his chair and then tapped his cane on the stone floor, from the sarcophaguses around the room, undead arose. Miller shuddered from the discomfort of the sight before him “You should really try having better friends, those don’t seem very talkative.” One of the zombies turned to face the necromancer and shrugged. The necromancer shook his head “Nonsense, I have death, he occasionally visits to tell me tales of some idiotic deaths he had witnessed!” 

Miller sighed “Fascinating, and I have a nagging goddess that just calls me an idiot and then.. Well, she’s not really nagging, and is pretty sweet…” the conversation went on for hours, as the 2 sat on top of a sarcophagus while Miller shared the story of his challenge for the gods with the necromancer. Off in the distance, one of the zombies was pretend-wiping his eyes. 

Miller sighed “and so here I am…” The necromancer nodded “I just don’t get 1 thing…”  “Hmm? What’s that?” replied Miller. “How’d you.. Survive the Sphinx encounter? He guards the oasis and is pretty mighty, and you on the other hand look like you couldn’t kill a crab…” Miller squinted at him “Oh I just told him about the 1 time I…” he told the necromancer a gruesome story of shredding and drying a plant creature as that creature told him about its life and kids. 

The necromancer shook his head in disbelief. “You.. are a monster.” Miller raised his eyebrow “No no that would be your zombies.. I’m a chef.” The necromancer shuddered “Yeah.. so uhmm, please don’t cook my zombies they’re all I have..” Miller pondered for a moment “I did consider making a shawarma out of 1 of them but decided against it.” The necromancer let out a sigh of relief. “So you’re here for the life crystal, right?”

Miller nodded eagerly “Right! I was told to obtain it to prove my courage.” The necromancer nodded “I have good news and bad news. The crystal is beneath us.. But the problem is, it’s embedded into the body of my failed experiment.” Miller nodded “Tell me more!” The necromancer nodded “Long time ago, when I was a…” the story went on for hours, a loud snore from the corner of the room, coming from 1 of the zombies was the only distraction from the tediously long and overly detailed tale. 

“And then I fought a Jorogumo, a creature straight from terrors. It had a woman’s torso, but a large spider’s lower half… She was the size of this entire room!! I lost a legion of my undead to her, but slain she was at last, laid below my feet, her bloodied corpse! And then, I desired to obtain the power of said creature, but being a mythical, magical being herself, she resisted my magic, so I had to create something new. Time was of the essence for she was rotting and I did not want that. So I had to rush” 

“And? What then?” the necromancer nodded and continued “I granted her a second life, with the crystal forged through alchemy by my undead servants. It was fused with my mana and the life of seven mages I sacrificed.” Miller pondered for a moment “So you basically made a battery powered undead??” the necromancer nodded “Yeah basically…” “And, she can exhaust that energy and die, right?” The necromancer shrugged, “Sure, she’s got only roughly 500 years of life in her.”

Miller laughed “Oh yes, only… and you built this pyramid around her to keep her captive?” The necromancer shrugged “Not quite, I just don’t like people…” “Ah… so erhm.. I best get going then…” Necromancer pointed at the door to his left “pathway down is there, good luck, boy”. Miller smiled nervously “Uhm, t..thanks! I battled a shark, surely a giant spider lady won’t be a challenge.” 

A familiar female voice chuckled gently in his head, mocking him ‘I battled a shark’ “hmmm? Yes, what a sight it was, I shouldn’t have intervened.” Miller whispered to himself as he walked down the dark pathway “Shhh!! I … did my best, and it was all to please you…” “Oh you pleased me with how clumsy you were, and you continue doing so, my little, mortal Miller.” 

He gritted his teeth “W..well this challenge isn’t for you!!! Rather than mocking me, tell me how to get that crustal.” After a short silence the voice replied “Oh I wouldn’t know, it isn’t my challenge after all, good luck.” Miller, annoyed by the dismissive sassy goddess angrily swung the door leading to the Jorogumo’s chambers open, and found himself face to face with an upside-down face of a pretty young lady.

A moment later he found himself dragged into the room by her gentle embrace, and a few seconds after he found her embrace to be rather sticky and quite tight as she was wrapping him up in her webs. Her thin, spider legs spinning him around and around. “W..w..h…hold up! Wait! Let go of me!” The spider creature stopped and lifted his body up to see him face to face, her expression was that of a confused, naive girl “Why?” she replied 

“W..well that’s because, I’m uhhm, I’m here to talk to you!” lied Miller. “Well, you got about 1 minute before I start wrapping your head.” She responded in a sweet tone, lowering his body and spinning it again. “Wait, I must tell you something else!” Annoyed, she stopped and brought him up again “Yes? Make it good or I’ll bite you” “No you won’t!” replied to her an annoyed female voice from somewhere within the shadows of her chambers. 

“I will do as I wish within my chambers” she replied, glancing around the room. Miller shuddered recognizing the voice as that of the goddess of taste. “I uhmm.. I wou..wouldn’t not .. mm… not with her no.” Joromugo turned back to face him “Oh? Is that your woman speaking? Call her over, I could cocoon you 2 together so you could embrace each other as you slowly su…” 

Her threat was interrupted by a slap across her face “I am not his woman! Y..yet..” said the goddess with a hint of embarrassment in her tone “Although that sounds.. No no! No! Let go of him though! He’s on a quest from gods and uhmm.. Under our protection! yes!” 

He drooled onto the bench, his hair was getting gently stroked by the goddess, he mumbled to himself “Thank you, thank you for always looking after me my goddess!” followed by kissing the bench on which he slept. She chuckled, watching his dream as she patted him “Silly mortal, dreaming about me in the middle of your quest… Do that after…” she glanced at the god Thompeur who had put Miller into a dream to test his dedication and loyalty to his mission. 

In the dream, he was saved by his beloved goddess. There they spun in the air and kissed in the setting sun. He opened his eyes after the kiss, to realize he was kissing a bench “Uh?? Huh????” He jumped up from the bench, breaking away from the gentle stroking of his beloved goddess “Ehhh?? W..where am I?” The goddess chuckled at his confusion “I told you, it was but an illusion, you did not believe me, but still you trusted me with your life.” 

She smiled gently at him “Although don’t hope for that kiss” she turned her head with a visible blush decorating her cheeks “That is scandalous! To dream of kissing a goddess? How could you!” He turned to see a god squatting on a bench wearing a wooden mask. They were in a park of sorts, benches lined the pathway winding through the forest. The god jumped off and began walking down the path “You passed loyalty, next time, true test of courage awaits you! For now, enjoy that silly goddess’s company.”

Miller turned to see the blushing goddess on the bench “W..wait huh??” She stared at the distant god “Wait what do you mean!?” She glanced at Miller, their eyes met, she could feel warmth on her cheeks, his goofy silly smile made her heart pound “Then.. allow me to make dinner for you.” She facepalmed at the thought she got when she heard that, and then got up and nodded “Let us enjoy this lover’s holiday then.”