Golden Reunion

“Ace!! Are you still with me?”

Ace snapped his focus back to a bunny in a courier’s hat, that sat in the chair on the opposite side of the table from him. His nametag on the hat read ‘EasterBun – Boss’.

“Why yes of course I am your hare-ness… What was the question?” The bunny sniffed the air. His small nose twitched.

“Ahem… As I was saying, Ace. You’re our finest courier, and I…”

He began, but Ace interrupted him.

“Oh yes I am indeed otterly amazing, tell me something new.”

The bunny sighed, trying to hold back his frustration. His thoughts filled with conniving plans to demote ace and remove him from the agency.

“So…. I need you to rush a delivery of a special package. A highly valuable request that we had just received.”

“So, I’ve ought to hare-up huh?” Ace said with a grin, stroking his chin.

“Ace… this is serious.” The Easter bun replied.

Ace nodded.

“Ooh, you’re so bunny, don’t worry, I know of urgency and care. I’ll hop right on it, where’s the package?”

The bunny grinned. His scheming thoughts tingled with joy.

“Oh it’ll be a… journey. You’ve ought to travel to the Eggnia, and get a hold of their finest gold egg that a special customer desires.”

Ace, ignored half the details the conniving bastard was telling him and just yawned in response.

He, the Ace, exited the building to cheers and applause of his colleagues who were, unlike him, not aces at their job. Some desired his autograph, some wanted to feel his paw on theirs. Ace liked it, but he never allowed his fame to get in the way of his task, Eggnia in this case. His destination was far, some even claimed it to be a mythical land that did not exist, but Ace knew better than to believe such silly rumors.

At first he’d have to travel far, and then from there his journey would lie even further. Through the lands of Far and Beyond laid a passage through the…

“chirp”. Ace blinked.

“No, not chirp. There… Lays…laid… lays… there lies… a passage through the…”

“chirp.” Something chirped again.

“Stop it! I’m trying to focus.” He glanced around.

“Beyond the Far and Beyond lies a passage…” He paused, glancing around, expecting whoever it was to chirp and disturb him again, but nothing.

“OH you cheeky….” He felt something peck at his tail. His instincts kicked in and he jumped, turning mid air to face behind him and landing on all fours. There, on the road, stood a chick. Small, yellow, harmless little thing, that tilted its head to the side, and chirped again.

“Oh… you chick…y… little bugger.”

It chirped again. Ace watched it for a moment.

“Uhm… where’s yo ma? Did she… chicken out?” He tried to hold back a laugh, but a snort still escaped. “Gha… sorry, that was a low blow. Well… best of…cluck….”

He grinned and turned around to resume his journey, but his heart sank low as a sad ‘chirp’ reached his ears. “DAWHH OKAY FINE!!!!”

A few hours later he was feeding his newfound friend that sat atop his hat.

“Alright so listen here you little bugger. First – I’ll drop you off in Eggnia. Second – my eggs-peck-tations of you are to adore all and any threats that come my way and stun them with your chirps. Got it?”

The chicken chirped excitedly, though more so from the joy of having fresh breadcrumbs than actually understanding his demands.

And so they reached Far and Beyond, or so the sign above the store read.

“Un…expected…… I think….” He glanced around. His thoughts boiling with ideas on how to penetrate the defenses of the supermarket. Ideas for disguises bubbling up one after another. He could pretend to be an old lady shopping, or perhaps pose as a staff member? Maybe pretend to be the new manager? Or better yet, he’ll enter as a delivery man, delivering… a single chick… That’d surely fly.

Ace removed his courier’s hat and sat it on the side of the road.

“Hen-g tight little buddy. I’ll be right back”

The little chick watched as the otter with exceptional agility and skill snuck up behind an old lady and stole her wig, disappearing into the shadows before she even noticed what happened.

The next victim was a man in glasses, he struck at him with nimbleness of a cheetah, quick and precise. The old man couldn’t see what happened, since his glasses were now missing. It was all a blur to him.

Ace locked in on the next target and leaped from the roof of the building at a man entering a shop wearing a weird double pointy hat, limping on a peg-leg and pushing in front of him a cart full of cannon balls. He was grumbling and mumbling. Ace had a sudden change of heart mid fall, his consciousness came into play. ‘He’s old… wounded… he probably got a defective batch of cannonballs, let’s not ruin his day.’ He stuffed his courier’s hat into the purse of a yet another old lady he skillfully robbed, and entered the store, with his new companion in the purse, still nested snugly and comfortably inside his hat. A far oversized wig on his head and oversized glasses, and a purse he was dragging behind him on the ground, since otters weren’t nearly as large as people, all seemed like a perfect disguise to him. As he entered the shop, a clerk behind the till of a surprisingly modern looking interior greeted him with a shocked expression, a gasp, and a very high raised eyebrow.

“Gr….eetings?”

Ace nodded, putting on his best old lady’s voice.

“Why thank you deary! It is otterly delightful being here, again…” He lied, still pulling the purse behind him. “Say, honey, which way is the Faraway aisle?”

She cocked her head to the side out of confusion, clearly perplexed by the weird, overly tiny, furry, old lady in front of her.

“Uhm… it’s…wel…come to the Far and Beyond.” she said, blinking confusedly.

Ace sighed. “Yes deary, thank you.” He turned a corner sharply and bumped into someone barely larger than himself. Before him stood a dwarf, in an outfit similar to the clerk’s but much much smaller, barely taller than Ace was, and it had an arm band that read. ‘Manager.’ Ace’s gaze swiftly wandered to his nametag. ‘Waht’. Ace smirked.

“How many Wahts does it take to change a lightbulb?” He sneered.

The manager knelt to pick up the old furry lady’s oversized glasses and held them out to her.

“What?”

Ace nodded. “Waht indeed, how many Wahts?”

The manager glanced up at the ceiling. “Uhm, each is… 80 watt equivalent?”

Ace grabbed the glasses and somehow miraculously attached them to his head again, grinning. “80 Wahts, noted… Now waht way is the far-away?”

The manager pondered for a second. “Head to the Far aisle and take a turn right till you reach the Beyond aisle. From there continue straight and you’ll reach the restrooms.” He smiled at her. “Anything else?”

Ace went on his way and reached the restrooms shortly after. From the gentlemen’s door poured thick smoke from underneath the door. The ladies’ room seemed a lot more normal. His curiosity was piqued by the smoke-filled room. He debated whether to open the smoke-filled gentlemen’s door or keep up with his theatrics and go for the ladies room. His curiosity got the best of him. Albeit his body and instincts slightly disagreed with his decision. He reached for the handle of the gentlemen’s room with his trembling paw and carefully turned it, opening the door as slowly as he could. From inside smoke came pouring, overwhelming his senses and instincts in an instant, and then a voice. At first a chirp, and then a distant shout.

“HORSEYYY!???” It echoed as if through a massive, endless forest.

“Horsey…?”

Ace pondered for a moment over the voice he had heard.

“Who’s there?” He called out. His voice echoed endlessly in the vast, fog-filled forest. The fog was so dense he could hardly see his outstretched arm. The voice echoed back.

“HEDGYYYYY! HORSEYYY???”

Ace reached into his bag, and in an instant folded his courier’s hat and wig to vaguely, barely, in fact, not at all but in this dense fog, it might just – resemble a horse’s head. A terrible makeshift mask, using the glasses for ears.

“YESSS!” Replied Ace. “COME TO MEEE!”

A few short moments of stumbling around in near-blindness, he saw a shape, a very small shape, off in the distance. It resembled a spiky ball.

“FLUFFYYY!!?” He called out. The shape responded.

“NEIGHHH!! HEDGYY!” Ace tried to imitate a horse’s laugh to the best of his ability.

“You’re looking a little rough around the hedges… old… friend.”

The hedgehog slowly approached, seeing the barely horse-resembling head and a very small shape compared to the horsey he remembered.

“Neigh-bour? You look smaller.”

Ace snorted. “I’ve been… unstable lately. Had to giddy up but life had triumphed over me…”

The hedgehog gasped. “Ah, neigh, that’s horrible.”

Ace shrugged. “That’s what I get for horsing around… Yet you look, sharp as ever.”

The hedgehog’s body language, enshrouded by the thick fog, revealed a hint of embarrassment.

“Nawwhh you think so? I’ve been a bit on the… hedge lately.”

The conversation trailed off until Ace managed to bring it back to the topic at hand once more.

“And so… I seek the faraway.” Ace explained briefly about lying of being ill and needing to seek the beyond for aid, through an elaborate lie he came up with on the spot. He managed to convince the hedgehog he encountered that he was his neighbor the horse from long ago, that just lost weight. The hedge gladly took him to the edge of the fog, and then left, heading back into the fog. Later Ace learned that the hedgehog was a legendary guardian and guide of the faraway land. The diving realm between the here and there.

He found himself, in the mythical lands of Eggnia. What gave it away were the eggs growing on the trees, and eggflowers decorating the roadside. His jaw hung open in awe, just as did his new companion’s, the chick’s. It now nested in the old lady’s wig, that was attached to Ace’s courier’s hat, basking in the warm sun, glancing around the land of eggs in disbelief that so many eggs could exist in a single plane.

He journeyed onwards, until he reached a fork in the road. It is only now that he realized that the bricks paving the road beneath his paws, were white and made of calcium. They were made out of eggshells. The sign pointing to the left read. “The Grand Eggalace.” The sign pointing to the right read. “The Egg Plantation.” He fed another crumb to the chick and booped it on the beak. The chick chirped and pointed right.

“That’s right!” Ace commented. The chick sighed and pecked him on the head, pointing right again.

“Right right…”

He pecked his head again.

“HEY! I said right! I’m going right, right?”

Ace turned to the right and proceeded down the white brick road toward The Egg Plantation. What greeted him, surprisingly enough, shocked him even more than his arrival on this plane. Before him was a massive field that spanned as far as the eye could see, and on the field grew plants, egg plants…. They were not eggs, they were eggplants, the normal veggie kind.

“Well ain’t they eggnificent?” Called out a voice from behind him. Ace, startled, leaped up like a frightened cat and then landed on a fence post, grasping onto it, glaring down at a small bunny that hopped past him.

“His eggcelency loves the egg plants.”

“But they’re not…” Ace begun.

“Eggs? Sure they are, eggsamine them closer.”

The bunny taunted, hopping over the fence and approaching the nearest eggplant, tapping it with his paw. Ace slowly slithered his way down and hesitantly approached the hare.

“Egg…samine…?”

The bunny nodded eagerly, tapping the eggplant again. “Eggsactly.”

Ace traced the outer shell of the eggplant with his finger, ‘shell…?’ he paused for a moment and then repeated his motion. It was indeed a shell. Not a skin of an eggplant as he had expected. It looked eggsactly like an eggplant, but it was most certainly an egg.

“How…… Interesting.”

The bunny nodded. “Mhmm! Eggbert Eggstein came up with these, and his Eggcelency the Emperegg can’t get enough of them, so he demanded an endless supply of them, and so we delivered.”

“Emper…egg…??” Ace inquired cautiously.

“Yes! The emperor’s egg, finest egg ever laid. The egg made of purest gold, decorated with the finest jewels… and…”

As the bunny continued, Ace reached into his bag and pulled out a drawing.

“Looks eggsactly like that yes!”

Ace’s mind began to ignore the bunny as his thoughts battled one another. ‘They want me to steal the Emperegg of the Eggnia…??? Hell to the negg egg.’

“Guide me to the Emperegg.”

The bunny nodded. “Oh yes sure sure, hop this way! We’ve out to hare-up or we might miss his eggcelency. The Emperegg is put away into a warm chamber for the night, and the night-fall is near.”

Ace dashed off after the bunny, desperate to keep up.

They reached the palace’s gates, and the guard of the gate intimidated Ace from afar. There was a massive, buff, rooster, clucking around and flexing. Admiring his own shadow.

“Hoppity hop, fear not.”

Ace smiled nervously – “sure…” His fears more than lived up to their expectations as the guard not only towered over him, he was the buffest rooster that Ace had ever seen, neigh, he was the buffest anyone Ace had ever seen. Each bicep of his was thicker than Ace. The rooster wore egg-shell armor. He flexed.

“Stop! Who dares eggter this late at night?”

Ace glanced around.

“A… humble mailman…”

The rooster’s gaze wandered up the otter’s fluffy body and then fixated on the small chick on the top of his hat, nesting in a wig.

“Eggciting visitors! Delivery of the most eggquisite chick, hm?” Ace rolled his eyes up. “I… eggcist to… make deliveries, and perhaps, that 1 is indeed to be delivered here.”

The guard squinted and then burst out into a laughter.

“Eggstraordinary visitor! Respectful of the egg. I Arnot Schwarz-n-egger will permit your entry into the eggalace! But first…” He marched around the skinny otter, occasionally lifting his arms and examining him.

“Why so skinny!?”

The otter shrugged. “Prolly not enough proteins….??”

Schwarz-n-egger shook his head in disbelief while flexing.

“See this? This is a result of an eggcellent diet consisting of eggs and eggs and…. Eggstreme amounts of eggs! Do you get it!? YOU OUGHT TO EGGNITE YOUR PASSION FOR EGGS!” He flexed again, so hard that the shell-armor cracked.

Ace shuddered and forced a smile. “Eggsactly what I shall do, sir Schwarz-n-egger!” He nodded and tried to sneak out of the massive arm that was wrapped around his neck.

“And listen here little weasel… listen close.”

Ace grinned. “Otter…”

“Otterly important… In the morning’s golden light…”  e began to sing in a whisper. The bunny instantly chimed in.

“Egg’s emerge, a supreme delight!”

They continued together.

“Scrambled fried or poached just right! They’re the best food for day and night.”

They finished off the song and bunny hopped up to give a paw-five to the rooster.

“His eggcelency, the Emperegg.” Announced a hen, as she presented a golden, jewel decorated egg that sat upon a throne.

“Wooowww… That is an eggstremely eggstraordinary egg…” Ace marveled at the dragon-egg sized egg that looked like it was hand crafted by the finest jeweler in the world. It resembled more a work of art than something organic. The chick chirped, then fluttered its tiny wings and rushed forth, leaping off of the tip of Ace’s hat. Ace marveled at the chick with a proud expression. Like an eagle parent watching his chick take flight for the first time. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Memories flooded him, memories of that 1 time he dressed as a pigeon and had to escape from the airport’s security… The memories of leaping off a roof, just to realize that being dressed as a pigeon didn’t make you one. He watched with a proud look at the chick, that, much as him, couldn’t fly. It plummeted down like an interdimensional cannonball straight toward the ground. He smiled and then gasped, then shouted, and then scrambled to catch the poor creature as it leaped off his hat to its certain doom.

“IDIOT!”

“Chirp”

“No! Not chirp! Idiot!”

The audience gasped in unison. All the royalties and nobilities. A butcher’s paradise. The chick relentlessly fluttered its wings, trying to break free from Ace’s grasp. He knelt and sat it down on the floor. Watching the chick dash tirelessly toward the Emperegg. As it reached it, it brushed its tiny little beak against the golden shell of the egg.

“Reunited at last.” Ace uttered, turning to leave. He glanced over his shoulder at the large golden egg.

“I wonder what you are…” He pondered to himself and headed for the exit. A chirp reached his ears from behind. He smiled.

“Yea yea… thank me later, when you grow up. Don’t forget me, little one. Your story had just beggun.”

He sighed, realizing that he won’t get paid for this delivery, well, not in a traditional sense at least, but that happy chirp was payment enough. He peeked over his shoulder once more to see the chick waving, flapping its tiny wings at him. Its eyes shimmered all colors of the rainbow for a moment, and then returned to normal, black and beady.

“Eggcellent day to you all.”

Can’t get enough of Ace the otter? Read up on his previous deliveries in The Invite that sparked this otter chaos and Nuts of Fate