Note from author:
This story was written during a special event, organized for the streamers of the FFXIV, and while the format of the writing and storytelling did not change, the ideas for the story were acquired from the streamers and the Choose Your Own Adventure (CYOA) aspects of the story were done through the StrawPoll website.
Story Prompts:
Nephsy The’staller: Identity theft
O’kay Mage: As the speaker of the chatting ones, and from my own nothoughts emptycase, I would like to include cheese, crystals and a tragedy
Daisi Chu: From the mouths of the chatting mains themselves, we want an otter who thinks he can fly!
Miss Avantasia: Me and my wonmnderful chatties would love to add A cult, a beautiful love story and a pige bunch of eyelashes into the story!
Rob’yn Gelson: But I’ll settle for an innocent wedding invitation being attacked by tanks
————STORY BEGINS————
“You’re… mister Dark-Feather…? Is that correct?” Inquired the border patrol officer looking up from a pigeon’s passport at a creature that only vaguely resembled a pigeon.If one were drunk, high, and incredibly sleepy, perhaps the disguise would have worked. The creature before the officer looked rather fluffy and elongated, wearing a poorly made pigeon costume with obviously fake feathers.
“That… is correct! Very much correct.” Replied Ace, an otter, wearing a pigeon outfit.
“Uuhhuhh…” Responded the lizard officer as he eyed the creature before it up and down.
“Please stand by while I get the stamp…” He said, getting off the chair and walking a few steps away before speaking into his radio.
“We have a situation by the international, an impostor. Send reinforcements.” He looked back over his shoulder and smiled as he pretend-grabbed something from a desk’s drawer.
Few short seconds later, half a dozen uniformed animals – the security of the port, came rushing toward them. Ace sighed – “dang it, I knew this won’t fly… Heh, get it? Fly! Because I can’t fly.” He joked to himself as he watched the guards close in.
“Well, time to take flight!” He chuckled at his own joke again and dropped the bottom half of the pigeon suit and burst into a sprint.
The chase lasted exactly until Ace managed to rip off the top part of the costume and throw it off. The pursuers stood no chance once the otter dropped on all fours. His agility and nimbleness allowed for a quick and easy escape. He dashed up the vents and then snuck into one of them, breaking out on the roof and glancing around the port.
He had a few options now!
1– He could try to sneak onto a golden, glittering steam-powered ship.
2- He could sneak onto the military looking warship!
3- he could see about trying a new disguise and forged documents!
Glittering ship! It shone in the setting sunlight like a beam of hope! Ace nodded firmly at it – ‘there it is! My escape! My path to freedom!’ He ran and leaped off the roof, spread his paws wide, and then remembered ‘oh right, I’m fleeing, not flying’. As he fell, he thought to himself ‘fleeing is to run away and ships are part of a fleet, doesn’t that..’ he paused and then swung his tail to turn himself around, grasping onto the gutter pipe. His claws screeched against the metal, slowing his descent down. “Phew, that was close..” He remarked.
As he safely jumped down from the gutter pipe, he planned his route. First, leap onto the cargo truck, ride it till about halfway point, then jump off, climb the cargo container, from there onto a crane, then make his way to the other side, and then drop down onto the golden ship. So, he grabbed a hard hat he found lying beside a cargo container, put it on, and walked confidently towards the golden ship instead. “Who needs plans when you have charisma?” He reminded himself.
He made his way to the golden ship, a human ship of some wealthy organization, it seemed. Guests arriving and boarding were all dressed fancy, in suits and dresses, and… masquerade masks, as if to conceal their identity. This seemed odd, but Ace had made his decision. Now he considered his boarding options.
Parked by the cargo-bay were a couple of trucks. They surely had uniforms in them. Should Ace
1- dress as a security and board the ship.
2- Climb into a pet carrier and pretend to be a pet animal.
3- Board the ship in a hard hat and pretend to be an inspector. But suddenly, off in the distance, he saw a personal car, it was the captain’s ride
4- Knock the captain out and pretend to be the captain.
He grinned confidently – “Oh yes… that’s it! Come on Ace, you got this!” He pumped himself up and then rushed toward the car.
“Now then, how do you knock out a big, gnarly man that would be a ship captain?” He ran towards the car considering his options.
“Oh well, I’m no opossum, but it’s worth a try!” So he pretended to be an opossum! He fell onto the road, faking his own death. The tires screeched and the car veered to the right, into a metal cargo container.
It burst through its doors and crashed into the corn inside. By the time the port workers arrived Ace had already done what he aimed to do, he stole the captain’s hat and threw it on, even though it was large enough to fit him inside of it entirely, but he didn’t let that stop him. He also grabbed the ID but broke it in half, so that the picture half would be missing. He crawled out of the container, dusting himself off of the corn and picking it out of his ears.
“Sir, is everything alright?” inquired one of the workers. “Yea lad!” replied Ace, lifting up the hat to look at the workers who had approached.
“I just… failed to park the car, lock the container up and ship it!” He ordered, waving his hand dismissively and walking back toward the golden, sparkly ship. As he approached it, the security stopped him.
“Captain?” inquired the security guard – rather unconvinced.
Ace lifted the hat up and tilted his head to the side, “What? Never seen an otter captain before? Get back to work, you damned youngling, and stop interrupting MY work! We have to sail in…in…” He flashed half of the ID, pretending badly to be covering the other half.
The guard glanced at the ID. “in 30 minutes, captain!”
“Yes that, now lest you wish to lose your job, move!” He commanded harshly. The guard, concerned for his paycheck, obliged.
Once inside, Ace was pointed in the direction of his, or well, the captain’s quarters, where he proceeded to rip the stripes off the uniform and wear them as a scarf. He kept up the role of the captain, as it was now too late to weasel his way out of it. “You got this Ace!” He reminded himself, patting the purse at his hip. “You must deliver it…no matter the cost.” He headed to the bridge.
Once on the bridge he was quick to summon the 2nd officer there.
“Captain Stevens? You c.. oh? I thought I was with Stevens today?”
Ace glanced at him from the top of the captain’s chair and nodded. “Name?”
“I’m Roger, sir”
Ace grinned “Roger that..”
“No sir, just Roger.” Ace nodded “Very well, assume command of the ermm…”
“The Golden Eyelashes, sir,” Roger reminded him.
“Yes, that, I will rest for now.”
When the command was passed over, Ace made his way down to the second floor where a casino and the banquet hall greeted him. The carpets were natural fur, soft and plushy. This made Ace feel rather uneasy. Additionally, many of the guests wore fur coats and scarves. This made him feel even more uneasy, but what stood out the most was still the masquerade masks. His stomach growled, he shrugged off his concerns until his stomach was full, and made his way to the buffet.
The buffet offered the largest variety of foods he had ever seen, representing all cultures and types of food, although it was mostly meat-based. As he settled at an empty table, before he could take the first bite of the steamed fish before him, two people sat beside him.
“Ohh, a captain? I did not realize the cult allowed animal-kin aboard!” said a chubby man with a thick accent.
“Ohhhh dear oh dear, stop!!! The cult is accepting and welcoming to all!” Said a woman with a leopard tail scarf. It looked so much softer than Ace’s own, he was almost jealous of the feline’s soft fur. He glanced at the two people and then took a bite of his fish.
“I’ve been a.. Nom nom.. Captain for.. Longer than you’ve been alive, younglings!” He lied.
The woman removed her mask, it was a wooden mask with a smiling face on it. What Ace saw next would stay with him for the rest of his life.
She had the biggest…Lushest…. Eyelashes he had ever seen. She fluttered them at him and smiled. Her eyes were barely visible beneath the lush, thick, and long eyelashes that appeared to be natural.
Ace stared at her, mouth agape. The man took his mask off as well, and Ace was greeted by a similar pair of eyelashes.
“Oh my, what is it, dear captain? Have my eyelashes impressed you that much?”
He shook his head, regaining his composure. “No! Yes! Well… I have seen bigger ones, of course!”
“Oho??” the man inquired, leaning onto his arm and flapping his massive eyelashes at the otter.
“Whom?” asked the woman eagerly.
“Well, uhm, obviously the mi…” stuttered Ace.
“AHA! The mistress! OF COURSE!” The man yelled enthusiastically.
“She has the lushest eyelashes of us all!” He continued.
“Well, yes! It is her ship, after all!” Ace claimed as he swallowed the last bit of fish while glancing around for a way to escape this awkward conversation. He was otterly confused by the kind of community he found himself in the middle of and desired to make an escape.
1- And then there was a thunderclap, but it was actually not.
2- He saw someone walking away toward the VIP area in a big, fluffy hat, and ran off after them claiming he had urgent business to tend to.
3- Ace makes eye contact with the chef and claims that the chef needs something from him.
4- The chief of security shows up.
He noticed someone in a big fluffy hat walking towards the VIP area. “Uhmmm, pardon me, I have a feline-g that her highness, the eyelashest of all, desires my audience to discuss a change of course!” He lied skillfully as he glanced at the couple at his table, then bowed courteously and ran off.
“Pass along our best wishes to the mistress!” Yelled the man after him.
“But of course!” He sprinted off toward the VIP area and snuck through the door before it closed, leaning against it, gasping for air. The person in a big fluffy hat turned around after hearing the panting behind her.
Ace’s eyes widened and his heart sunk as he noticed the fox mask that stared at him. The foxy grin and the predatory eyes beneath it. He froze in place, terrified for his life, but then the mask came off, beneath it was a beautiful young girl. She smiled warmly at him. “Captain, what brings you here?”
What shocked him the most was her normal eyelashes, they were too normal. “Uhm, just.. Making my rounds!” The rest of the night he spent in the VIP lounge with surprisingly normal people. Dukes and Counts that supported the cult.
The night passed in a blink. To his surprise, he managed to confidently maneuver around the orders that the crew expected from him during the docking, demanding that they do their job and not ask him for every little thing, which worked. They docked in the city of Alanar, a city where the feline empire was in conflict with the warring squirrel tribes.
He made his way to a pub where he settled down in a quiet, dark corner, enjoying the musty smell of an early morning pub. At the front sat a squirrel that was covered in scars, it wore a military uniform.Beside it sat a few felines. The squirrel was sleepily munching on his snacks, cheesy crystals. They were small, crystal-shaped, cheesy snacks.
‘Crunch, crunch’ “Ey! More!” demanded the squirrel. The barman refilled the bowl with the cheesy snacks and the squirrel sunk its paw into the bowl. Collecting as many as he could and stuffing his mouth full of the cheesy deliciousness.
‘Cheesy crystals are named that for their texture. When you bite them, they break into many tiny bits like a crystal that got smashed by a hammer, and those small bits practically melt in your mouth,’ Ace thought to himself, watching the squirrel’s tail suddenly – nervously twitch as one of the felines sank his paw into the bowl. “Mrreowww! Hey fella, don’cha think it’s meowbout time you head out?”
The squirrel glared a deathly glare at the feline as he scooped up more than half the cheesy crystals and poured them in his mouth, crunching mockingly at the squirrel. “Dare you to take 1 more and I’ll have to crack some nuts open today!” The squirrel grunted.
“Meows’that suppose to meoean?” Said the feline bandit as he grabbed and then dropped one more cracker into his mouth and crunched it.
“This…” Replied the squirrel angrily as he grabbed the bowl where cheesy-crystals once were and smashed it against the cat’s head, knocking the bandit out cold and then hissing at the other two that were accompanying him, holding a broken shard of porcelain in his paw.
“Whoa, easy pal, no need to go nuts over some crystals, I’ll get you more..” said Sloth, the bartender.
Ace enjoyed the show peacefully while sipping on his drink. After a while, it was time to depart, but Ace decided to remind himself of the direction of his mission. He popped his purse open and read the address on the letter. “To: the leader of the Appalachian tribe of war-quirrels in the forest South of Alanar, ” He glanced at the squirrel at the bar and then back at the letter. ‘Would he know the directions?’ he pondered.
1- Ace decided to approach the squirrel and inquire if he might be of assistance.
2- Ace decided to avoid the obviously aggressive squirrel and asked the sloth for information instead. (and…. here I did a little oopsie ^_^’)
3- He opts to sneak out of the pub and head there on his own.
4- He decides that guide is safest and hires 1 from the local town hall.
Ace jumped off his chair and headed toward the bar. After a nimble leap up onto the table, he landed on the chair next to the squirrel and slammed the letter down.
“Hey pal! Know where this is?” He slid the letter closer to the squirrel.
The war squirrel read the address and chuckled. “Hah.. I know alright… It’s my bro’s place. What do you need?”
Ace squinted at him. “I’m the messenger of his roy..”
“I didn’t ask WHO, I asked WHAT!” The squirrel said clenching his fist.
“Well.. just, uh, this delivery, sir..” Ace said in a shaky voice.
“Ugh… you paying?” Ace rummaged his purse and then threw a single coin with a crystal on one side and a tank on the other. It was a golden coin.
“I’ll take you… But, stay close! mines and traps litter that forest, to keep the felines out!” Said the squirrel as he gawked at the feline bandits that messed with his snacks before.
And as such, the otter and the squirrel ventured out into the dangerous forest. Each step of the way, Ace feared for his life.
Occasionally, a landmine explosion could be heard in the otherwise silent forest, followed by angry meows.
“Don’t worry, lad. It’s normal here! Their fur gets burned off, and they run back, tails tucked between their legs, heh! Scaredy cats!” The squirrel joked as he parted bushes before him, revealing a giant metal wall behind them.
“Oh, sorry, that’s not the grand reveal yet, just the front gate!” He pulled out a nut and banged on the door three times. The mechanism creaked, and the gate began to part ways.
As the gate parted, Ace could see tank that stood behind it. A loud bang echoed through the forest, and a nut-shell whooshed over their heads.
They ducked. “And that’s the warring squirrel tribes in a nutshell for ye!” explained the squirrel as he raised his tail and swung it side to side.
“Bro?”
“Yes!” Replied Ace’s companion.
“Wrong password, you doofus!” Screamed a squirrel from the inside.
After brief introductions, Ace handed the letter over to Krius the Squirrel of War, the leader of the Appalachian War-Quirrels.
The chief opened the letter.
“Dear old friend of mine, what was his name? No, don’t write that! Ugh! Scratch that! Okay start over. Dear old friend of mine, kraken! No wait… this was for Floor man! Anyway – I, Rob’yn Gelson humbly invite you to my wedding! I uhmm.. What was I going to say? Oh yea – come and share this joyous day with us. We hope to see you in the chair, and not on the floor!” Krius read the letter with furrowed eyebrows and then looked up at Ace, he sighed. “Wrong letter pal!”
After which, Krius crumbled up the paper and tossed it to his comrade that stood beside the tank.
His comrade caught the letter and threw it into the barrel of the tank. “FIRE IN THE HOLE!” Shouted the squirrel by the tank, and a moment later, Ace stood there, mouth agape, shocked by the fact that – he had risked his life and went all this way, just to see the letter he had to deliver, a wedding invite, get shot by the tank, or well, out of the tank.
And on this note, the adventurous trip of Ace comes to an end. He risked his life to deliver a wrong letter, to a wrong man. He dropped to his knees and wept, realizing that he’ll have to deliver another two letters now, but first, he must return to Chaos, where Rob’yn awaits him.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.