Peculiar Platter

Aug 20, 2024

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by

Viktor F. Krown (a.k.a. Vikiridi Mikwel)

in Author’s Pick, Chat Interactive Story, Non Standard Format, Stories, Story

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Adventure Comedy Exploration Fantasy Funny

Author’s Note: This story was written in an interactive format with the participation and engagement of the live audience through chat. Throughout this story you’ll find text formatted in this manner:

I.E.: <Wishes to sponsor the Character an item name.>

This is how the chat interactions look like. These are messages written by the people who were in the audience on the night of the story.

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“HAH! Quite the audience and quite the list of participants we’ve got here,” a soft and gentle yet masculine voice echoed through the vast darkness where nothing existed. In said darkness, a man stood, unable to see anything, but he could feel the coldness of a marble countertop against his back. He leaned against it, his heart drummed as the voice continued its announcement.

“Welcome to the annual Divine Meal competition.”

In a snap of fingers, the darkness lifted like theatrical curtains, revealing the stage at the center. It was littered with kitchens, 6 in total. Each was separated by a gap and surrounding the stage was darkness. Various chefs of various species and races bowed to their sponsors and waved excitedly. They were eager to get started, eager to win.

“Now now! You lads!”

The voice seemed to focus specifically on your group of sponsors.

“You guys are sponsoring Miller, what a fine lad.”

Miller smiled. He was average-height human male, but his eyes sparkled with resolve and determination. He may seem scrawny and ordinary, but his gaze was anything but ordinary. He clenched his fist and grinned widely at you.

The announcer continued to explain the competition in the same soft and gentle voice brimming with excitement.

“Now we get to the juicy part. The winner of the competition gets a week with their patron. The losers get a week as their primary ingredient. You heard that right! Only one winner in this competition and the gods will be merciless at judging.”

“Should your participant lose, you will get to enjoy a week of watching them struggle to survive, watching them live as their primary ingredient to learn it better.”

The announcer finished and snapped his fingers. The kitchens filled with basic kitchenware and cooking utensils.

“Now then, participants, off you go!”

In a flash, they all were gone from their kitchens to different locations to gather ingredients and decide what meal to prepare.

Miller was confident in his abilities. He had ascended to the position of a Chef of Gods just recently, which only further boosted his confidence. He found himself standing atop a snowy mountain peak, second-guessing his decision for a location. He winced, glancing around the blinding whiteness that was snow.

“Alright then… maybe I should have chosen better.”

He glanced up, right at you and smiled.

“So then? What’s on the menu tonight?”

Miller found the nearest rock that protruded just above the snow and sat down. Watching the sponsors’ desires come in, he pondered what he could actually make from the extreme challenge which he put himself in.

Suddenly Miller jumped up, his eyes glinting in the sun.

“Yeah! Ears, Yeti, tea, and bunny… All hmm… Let’s see if I find a bunny or a yeti first!” He gave you all a hearty wink and then showed his empty hands to you all. He was dressed in a pretty basic set of clothes with an apron, certainly unfit for winter, and it was obvious he had no tools.

“There’s one sliiight issue though… they sent us in empty-handed guys….”

Above Miller, a pace away, a rift opened that he did not dare touch. Such rifts were usually what the gods traveled through. A gentle voice came through it, soft and warming like the singing of birds.

“To my beloved Miller, a man so wonderful, so sweet and confident, that he got himself into a yet another stupid situation.”

Through the rift a handful of items fell. A pickaxe, a bag of coke, a small pouch of mint, and a banana.

“AAAAND there you have it! Sponsors are stepping right in and the patrons of our participants are delivering the sponsored items. How exciting! Let THE GAMES BEGIN!”

The announcer’s soft voice suddenly turned menacing for a moment. A chill ran through Miller’s body. He wasn’t quite certain if it was from the announcer or the fact that he was slowly freezing. He picked up the sponsored items, tying the bags and pouches to his belt and throwing the pickaxe over his shoulder.

He struggled through the knee deep snow. With each step his feet grew colder and his toes turned numb. He sighed, rummaging through the coke pouch and pulling out a pinch.

“Normally I’d advise against sniffing any kinds of white powders, but you guys provided me with this…” and gave the coke powder a sniff. They were Albino-Cocoa beans ground into a powder that made for a fine spice, not so much anything else. The discomfort of it certainly energized him.

He recalled his memories and his lessons of survival in the wild. He recalled a man drinking his own urine. The thought made him shudder, he prayed that his sponsors wouldn’t leave him in a situation so dire that he’d have to use such crude measures. He recalled the rare herbs that grew in the cold. Thyme and Sage, some species of Mints and some others.

As he roamed the white wilderness, the weather turned for the worse. Clouds consumed the sun and the winds began to strike him with full force. He shivered, then suddenly the rift opened again.

“To Miller, my beloved idiot. You’re seriously not good at survival. Maybe stick to hunting sharks?”

A pair of shoes fell from the rift. When they fell the snow melted and lit ablaze.

Following them, fell a super tiny tunic that is useless for a human male, and a small rock-like thing that emitted a gentle flame. As Miller approached the items to collect them, the sky tore open.

“One more,” the gentle goddess’s voice spoke in a sassy tone. Through the massive rift that covered the entire mountain range, rained flaming rocks. This destroyed all in their path.

“SERIOUSLY!?”

Miller panicked and rushed toward the items. Then he turned around to run away, and turned back around again, dashing for them. Heroically, he grabbed the items, tucked, and rolled down the steep mountain side. He tumbled through snow while grasping onto the warm sponsored items. He prayed the meteor shower would end soon. An avalanche started not far from him as a meteor destroyed a whole peak.

He slowed to a halt when his back hit a tree. The slowing was sudden and knocked all the breath out of him, perhaps a bit of life too but he was fine, mostly. He was fine enough to crawl into a cave nearby where he equipped the flaming sandals and warmed himself on the flaming rock-like thing that was sent to him. Moments passed and the chaos of the meteor storm ceased. He let out a sigh of relief and then glanced behind himself into a pitch black cave.

Fortunately for him, the flaming rock produced a small flame, enough to light the way just barely. After a short breath and snacking on his banana out of stress, he stood up and dusted himself off. He bowed to you, the sponsors.

“Thanks by the way, for the banana and the sandals, not the meteors… genius.”

He held the rock in front of him and proceeded into the cave.

At least there the cold couldn’t get to him, not as much at least. Despite the meteor storm, the winds picked up and were now howling outside. A blizzard was upon him. The worst situation possible.

Each step he took echoed through the cave. Occasionally something clattered away. He stepped on a loose rock and lost his footing, almost falling. He caught himself on something hard and wiggling. Whatever it was, it did not enjoy being touched for the next thing he knew was a painful sting that sent his body into shock. However, something within Miller sparked that same moment. He clenched harder, receiving another sting as he slammed the creature in his hand against the wall, slaying it.

As he felt the creature’s carapace crumble, so did he. Falling onto the rough stony floor he whimpered from the sharp pain that was overtaking his body. Somewhere far away and yet right there, next to him, a goddess slammed her fist on a table.

“Moron!”

A rift opened up. The voice was less gentle this time, it sounded concerned, genuinely worried, with a hint of frustration.

“To my fool who is dying and wincing from pain on the cave’s floor. Please stop touching hard wiggling things.”

Through the rift fell a box of explosives that hissed momentarily and clattered, but fortunately for Miller, did not explode. Following the box were a small vial of questionable liquid and a scroll of survival knowledge.

Miller groaned, gritting his teeth he pushed himself forward, hoping and praying that the liquid in the vial would cure his ailment. Each movement sent jolts of pain through his body. Each breath was labored and raggedy. With a trembling hand he reached for the vial, grasped it and rolled over onto his back. With trembling hands he plucked it open and poured the contents into his mouth.

The searing pain soothed instantly. The venom of the giant centipede oozed out of the wounds. He sat up, shaking his head. While doing so, he checked the sponsor’s messages and sighed.

“I’m not lost! I’m just… searching for the herbs! Yeah. They’ll be here, maybe a Yeti too!”

“Another one.”

The female voice reached him right above him. Before Miller had time to react, he got bonked on the head by a compass and a strange object he had never seen before. a hand-like balloon.

Miller stashed the dead giant centipede in the pocket of his apron and continued onwards, deeper into the cave. He stumbled and stubbed his toes on rocks, but was careful not to lose his footing this time so as not to fall into any more centipedes. The balloon-like hand-like object floated just ahead of him, as if guiding his way. The compass seemed to agree with it.

It’s as if the compass pointed wherever he desired to go.

“Desire…” he mumbled, pausing for a moment and thinking of his beloved goddess that he unintentionally fell for. Her warmth and kindness, her smile when she savors his meals. She was the reason he participated in this, she was the reason he desired to get better. The compass’s needle bounced around in all the directions, spinning in circles. His desire was not in this realm and the compass couldn’t point to it.

He enjoyed the thoughts of her as much as he enjoyed her company. However, the challenge had a limited time and he had yet to gather the ingredients, let alone prepare a meal. He focused his attention on the meal at hand, the meal to be. Centipede will make for a fine broth, the broth shall be used to cook the meat. He wasn’t sure what the meat would be, or what the meal will be, but he was certain he would win.

As he ventured deeper into the cave, the hand-like object stopped mid-air, bounced around and then pointed straight up. Miller held up the small flaming rock above him. In the faint light he could see a colony of mushrooms growing from the rocks above him, sharing space with stalactites. He reached for one and snapped it off, sniffed it, and then licked it.

The sponsors could see the mushroom zoomed in. It was a colorful variation unlike any that you had ever seen before. Pink with blue veins, and it was pulsating in his hand, like a heart. Miller broke a few more off, stashing them in his other pockets.

“Shrooms are good!”

After collecting a dozen of them, he picked another one up and sniffed it again. Its scent was moist, like the stench of stale water, with a vague hint of rosy color.

“Ah right, the manual.”

Miller grabbed the scroll and looked through it while holding the pulsating mushroom in his other hand.

“How to make fire, build a shelter, boat, hunt a yeti, oh that’ll be important soon I feel.”

He commented, continuing to read.

“How to… oh – gathering edibles.”

He traced the page with a finger.

“Pulsating mushrooms are usually a bad idea…” he glanced at the mushroom, then back at the manual, then at the mushroom, and then at the sponsors.

“The darkness tastes funny doesn’t it? Have you ever tasted it…?”

He stared at the mushroom again.

“Hmmm….”

“I agree…” he murmured, inching closer toward the box of explosives with the flaming rock in his hand, outstretched toward the box. As he knelt beside it and reached for the fuse, the hand like object turned from a pointing finger into a hand, slapped him on the backside of his head. In theory that was a fine idea, in practice, less so, as it caused him to drop his flaming rock right into the box of explosives.

Miller froze in awe for a moment, fascinated by the object his sponsors sent him, and then gazed upon the hissing fuses of the bombs in the box. His eyes sparked with excitement in anticipation of the meal he was about to savor. The mushroom laughed in his hand, he wasn’t sure what to make of a laughing mushroom, but in the moment he didn’t care. His jaw agape and his tongue out, he anticipated the delicious flavor of the explosion.

“Banana, potion, you idiot.”

From the rift above him fell a tincture that was hit mid air by a banana. Knocking its cap off, it spilled the blue fluid onto his tongue. It was an intelligence position. Following them was a pot of hot tea that for unknown reasons came out sideways, falling onto the box of explosives, shattering and spilling all over them.

That helped only some of them, but the intelligence potion was quick to take effect. Miller grabbed the goggles falling out of the air and broke into a sprint, in the opposite direction of the box. He strapped the goggles on and as he made it around a corner he fell onto the floor. He covered his head and ears in anticipation of the bang, and a bang there was. The cave shook furiously as the deafening roar of explosions echoed through it. The entrance of the cave spat out a fireball.

Whatever laid dormant in this cave, no longer was. Just as the rear end of Miller’s pants no longer existed. His face covered in soot and dust, he pulled the goggles off and gave a thumbs up to his sponsors.

“Cheers for that! That was a real lifesaver.”

He continued to follow the pointing hand as it led him to another corner of the cave where various herbs and grasses grew.

He collected a handful of each grass and herb and then he heard a sound that sent shivers through his body.

“Ahem,” a deep voice rumbled. Whatever was behind him was ominous. Its presence was that of an evil god, no, rather a demon. Miller could feel its piercing gaze on him. Whatever it was, stared deeply into his soul.

“Young man!?” the voice called out. Miller hesitated but then turned around.

“Where?” he asked.

Before him indeed sat a demon. He was old, wearing glasses, sitting on a throne with newspaper in hands. He peeked over the newspaper and glanced around the dark cave.

“Is there another one?” the demon asked.

“Oh, did you mean me?” Miller asked.

“Who else!?”

The demon asked. Miller shrugged.

“Well there is another one here but that’s for later. Care for a trade?”

The demon winked. Miller held out both his hands. Two small rifts tore through the fabric of reality itself. From them loosely fell two substances. One was dung, and the other crystal sand. Miller stared at the dung in disgust.

“I…ugh… kak…ughh” he gagged.

“I … have this to offer….”

The demon stared at the pile of dung for a long moment, his face distorted with disbelief. Then it contorted into a grin. He laughed a long while and glanced down at the pouch of Coke and the mushrooms in his pockets.

“You got some good stuff, I got some better stuff. Your stuff can buy you my stuff.”

The demon snapped his old wrinkly fingers. Behind him a whole shop opened up.

“Your stuff, for my stuff.”

His shelves were lined with everything imaginable. Cannons, nuclear ballistic missiles with a strange star symbol on them, weapons of the medieval times, enchanted magical items that could bring ruin to the whole world, keys to something that Miller feared to even imagine. Torture devices, and all kinds of items that are not fit for this venue so their appearances were censored for the sponsors and appeared as black boxes.

Miller’s gaze, however, fell upon a kitchen knife that was so exquisite that everything else paled in comparison. He marveled, tossing the dung over his shoulder. It splattered on something that Miller couldn’t care about in this moment. He reached for the knife.

“Ew no wash that first ew ew ew!”

The demon disappeared for a moment.

A rift tore through the fabric of reality itself, through it a bottle of the Divine Rain fell. After he washed his hand, the demon reappeared.

“Well then? The knife? What’s in it for ME!?”

The demon queried with a sly grin. Miller shrugged and held his hand up, all badass like, just two fingers up, expecting the sponsors to send him something good to offer, and the sponsors did not disappoint. A slim rift tore open and through it fell a Gold Saucer VIP card. Miller caught it with two fingers and slammed it on the table.

“This,” he replied with a grin, not knowing what that was or what it entailed.

The demon examined the strange ticket for a moment.

“2 shrooms, some of that crystal sand, and half the coke.”

Miller agreed, the transaction was complete, and he was now armed with a demon kitchen knife that morphed itself into any knife he needed. Always perfectly sharp, always the knife he needs. Meat cleaver, demon slaying blade, fish knife, bread knife, whatever he needed, it would be.

Miller was happy for the moment. He turned around and his happiness disappeared the same moment. Behind him, frozen in time until just now, stood a yeti, covered in dung that he had previously tossed over his shoulder.

“Heh… uhmm, demon I wanna…” he glanced over his shoulder but the demon’s stall was gone, and the time had resumed.

“Shit….”

A low whimper escaped his lips as the massive, angry beast before him roared with all its might. It towered over him, well over two meters tall. Its saliva dripped off its fangs as the beast examined its new meal. Miller swallowed the nervousness away and held his hand out, hoping for sponsor’s support in this crucial moment.

While awaiting the sponsorship he held his hand up in a ‘wait a moment’ gesture toward the angry beast while glancing through the scroll of survival he had previously received.

“It says Yeti’s are vulnerable to cannon fire and just being killed.”

“To Miller, stop begging them for aid you idiot, they get too excited and then I have to fight the master to send all those damned items your way.”

The Yeti raised his massive hand and then slammed down. Miller rolled out of the way.

“I can’t help it!” he complained. A rift opened up above him, from it fell a horn.

Miller didn’t wait long, he blew into it with all his might. From the horn a tiny sheep emerged that grew in size within a moment and baah’ed at the Yeti, dashing off in panic. The Yeti’s gaze followed the sheep. The yeti salivated at the thought of young lamb’s meat on its tongue. It hesitated. Miller saw his chance. He raised his hand and caught a banana.

“Oh thanks,” he commented, peeling it and eating it quickly, tossing the peel on the floor.

“Not done yet, catch this,” the goddess’s voice replied smugly. Through the rift a weapon fell, a massive greatsword, so great in fact that Miller gave up trying to pull it out of the rocky floor and left it there. The Yeti turned angrily when it heard a clank of metal. It was familiar with being hunted and the sound of blade angered it.

“And this,” the voice chuckled. Above the Yeti a rift tore open. From it fell a chest that clank loudly as it impacted the creatures thick skull. Disorientated the beast took a step forth, blinded by its anger. Miller shrieked and recoiled backwards, pressing his back against the wall.

“Goddess?? A..anymore??”

“Hang on this 1 is big, takes a while,” the goddess replied nonchalantly, teasing him as she prepared the next sponsored item. The yeti stepped on the banana peel, losing its footing and falling over with a loud thud. It roared angrily, reaching for Miller’s leg.

“AAAAA.”

Miller shrieked again, trying to kick the beast’s hand back. Another rift, through it fell a cannonball, and then a dozen more opened. The first 1 landed on the monster’s arm, the others landed on the monster’s torso.

“You really are generous,.”

Miller gave a weary thumbs up to his sponsors, slowly sneaking away from the beast as it got pummeled by dozens of falling cannonballs.

“Open up,” the goddess spoke in a playful tone. Miller looked up, opening his mouth. From a tiny rift fell a chocolate ball.

“Sweet as you,.”

Miller grinned.

“I’m going to send you to the frozen hells you idiot,” the goddess replied.

“Time’s running low, get cooking.”

Miller nodded and dashed for the Yeti’s head. In a swift slash, he cut one ear off and then the other.

“Ready!”

Miller shouted and winked at his sponsors. In that instant, his world turned to black, and then he was in the divine kitchen for the contest. The other chefs were already at their respective positions, he was the last one.

“And now begins the cooking contest! Dear sponsors we thank you dearly for the support of your chosen.”

Then the cooking began. Ovens roared to life. There was flames, electricity, the thudding of kitchenware and the clanking of utensils. The contest was in full swing as the contenders prepared their meals. The first to present to the judges, 3 gods and goddesses, was a small dwarf. Bulky in appearance he tossed a meal that looked questionable, but it left the gods in awe.

He presented them with Caramelized Pebbles, a delicacy where he is from. For the main meal he offered a dish so magical in appearance that even Miller got jealous. It was a rock, a geode that the gods had to break in half. The meal was cooked inside the geode, a most mesmerizing golden fried rice with diamond dust for seasoning.

The following meals were a hydra’s stuffed tail, a chimera’s sack, Anubis’s favorite. Miller thought it was unfair that Anubis himself participated in the contest being a full-fledged god, but technically the contest did not forbid that. At last, it was Miller’s turn to present his meal.

Miller brought forth 3 plates of his meal that he cleverly called.

“The Darkness That Tastes Sweet.”

At the core of the meal laid mushrooms, cooked in the venomous giant centipede’s broth. The mushrooms, despite being cooked, still pulsated. They were sprinkled with some white powder at the top, and something mineral in appearance, as if salt crystals.

The edge of the plate was decorated with soaked and boiled, herbs and grasses. It gave a beautiful green-blue contrast to the mushrooms. Atop the mushrooms laid a piece of deep-fried yeti ear, and a pile of white dust laid upon them.

The gods were used to oddities, even living breathing mushrooms did not seem that farfetched to them, so they dug into their meals with no hesitation. The white powder made its way into their nostrils as they sniffed the pieces of ears before eating them. The crunch echoed through the room as each enjoyed it.

Following in suit with the crunchy nature of the dish, the crystals on the mushrooms also crunched as the gods savored them. The texture was fine and the taste was sweetish with an occasional bit of venom’s bitterness to offset the sweetness. A contrast, a battle that took place on their taste buds.

All meals had been savored and the judging was upon the chefs.

“Miller!?”

A god called out. He stepped up to answer the call.

“The judges have spoken, here’s their verdict.”

“Judge one said – meal was intriguing and the contrasting flavors were fun, but tasting darkness and matter for the rest of the week was very confusing. He had desires to taste and lick everything, but the trees spoke to him and told him not to do that. Then he became a mortal and forgot that he was a god. His score was 7 – interesting experience, hated being a mortal again.”

“The 2nd judge said – delightful shrooms, I hadn’t been able to talk to light in a long time, I missed my old friend. Scored a 9, had a great time catching up with his friend.”

“The last judge said that the mushrooms in his stomach after consumption became sentient and continued talking to him for the rest of the finite eternity of the month that he took off before savoring the next meal. He said the mushrooms were a mega hive mind across all universes and tried to bait him to join them. He then proceeded to exterminate every mushroom he came across but they put up a fierce battle. After an eternity of war, the judge was not pleased. Their score is a 2.”

Miller scratched his head.

“Ugh… guess uhm, shouldn’t have used so many questionable substances….”

The announcer nodded.

“Your total score is 18 out of 30, you lose. Your core ingredient was mushroom, you shall be a mushroom.”

Miller gazed upon the sun, standing still in a tree’s shadow. His goddess sat beside him, poking his head.

“My, what a fun meal you’ve made, wish I had gotten to savor it.”

“Canta…shush….”

Miller whispered, contemplating his choices. She grinned at him playfully.

“Maybe I’ll just eat you, see if you are as fun as the meals you make.”

The mushroom sighed, releasing his spores into the air.

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This story is a ‘sequel’ of sorts to the Shark Filet – the origin story of Miller.

Prompts for the story

A top a high mountain
ahmmmm an encounter, something to deal with, how about….. ohhh I know a demonic take overtake…… hmmm not that I’m planning anything…and how do you solve it it’s up to you, through a fight or a diplomatic means
How about…the protagonist is caught in a sudden blizzard, and must decide whether to wait it out in a precarious spot or attempt a risky descent in near-zero visibility.
How about that Synesthesia is quite common. And ppl always try to make everything looking/sounding/tasting the best? Or is that too much to ask for?
- Synesthesia sensory crossovers – tasting colors or feeling sounds

Viktor F. Krown (a.k.a. Vikiridi Mikwel)

Hi there, I go by Vik. I write stories in real time for the Wondrous Tales. No prep work. It all happens on the fly. Drop by and enjoy a story that takes shape before your very eyes, based on prompts that people in the audience give me before the story! I appreciate you. Thank you! Feel free to leave a comment or contact me on discord (If you join our server through the discord invite on the home page, you’ll have no trouble finding me) if you have some thoughts or feedback regarding the venue or the story!

Peculiar Platter

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